Reaction to conflict falls into three basic categories:
- Avoidance
- Problem-solving
- Confrontation.
When dealing with conflict, it can be helpful to notice how the parties are
reacting to the situation, whether students, staff, parents or others.
It is also useful to monitor your own reaction to conflict in a variety of
circumstances. A problem-solving approach has the best results.
The chart below can be used as an informal checklist to gage your own reactions:
| A. Avoidance |
B. Problem-solving |
C. Confrontation |
| has a tendency to: |
has a tendency to: |
has a tendency to: |
| – allow self to be interrupted, subordinated, stereotyped |
– state feelings, needs and
wants directly |
– interrupt, subordinate and
stereotype others |
| – have poor eye contact |
– have good eye contact |
– have intense and glaring eye
contact |
| – have intense and glaring eye
contact |
– have straight posture and
competent air |
– have invading posture and
arrogant air |
| – withhold information,
opinions and feelings |
– be able to disclose
information, opinions and
feelings |
– conceal information,
opinions and feelings |
| – be an ineffective listener |
– be an effective listener |
– be an ineffective listener |
| – be indecisive |
– initiate and take clear
positions |
– dominate |
| – apologize, avoid and leave |
– approach with skill |
– be loud, abusive, blaming
and sarcastic |
(Source: OPC Resource Book, Alternative Dispute Resolution: Essential Skills for School Leaders)